How to Free Yourself from the Prison of Judging Others and Yourself

We all have the tendency to judge others, whether it is based on their appearance, behavior, beliefs, or choices. We may think that we are superior, smarter, or more moral than them. We may feel annoyed, irritated, or offended by them. We may even feel threatened, envious, or resentful of them.

But why do we judge others so harshly? What does it say about us? And how can we free ourselves from this habit that causes us so much pain and disconnection?

## The Psychology of Judgment

Judgment is a cognitive process that involves forming an opinion or evaluation of something or someone. Judgment can be based on facts, evidence, logic, or intuition. Judgment can also be influenced by emotions, biases, stereotypes, or expectations.

Judgment can have positive or negative effects on our lives. On the one hand, judgment can help us make decisions, solve problems, and protect ourselves from harm. On the other hand, judgment can also lead to errors, conflicts, and suffering.

When we judge others negatively, we are often projecting our own insecurities and inner wounds onto them. We are rejecting the parts of ourselves that we don't like or accept. We are avoiding facing our own fears and vulnerabilities. We are escaping the discomfort of our own emotions and feelings.

Judging others negatively is like building a prison for ourselves. It traps us in a cycle of anger, resentment, and blame. It prevents us from seeing the reality and complexity of others. It blocks us from connecting with them authentically and compassionately.

## The Benefits of Letting Go of Judgment

Letting go of judgment is not easy or natural. It requires courage, humility, and awareness. It requires us to face our insecurities and inner wounds with compassion and curiosity. It requires us to acknowledge our flaws and vulnerabilities with acceptance and forgiveness. It requires us to embrace our shadows with love and grace.

Letting go of judgment is also rewarding and fulfilling. It frees us from the prison of negative emotions and thoughts. It allows us to see the truth and beauty of others. It opens our hearts and minds to the possibility of understanding, empathy, and connection.

Letting go of judgment is ultimately a spiritual practice. It is a practice of awakening to our true nature as beings of love and light. It is a practice of aligning with our higher purpose as agents of peace and harmony. It is a practice of transcending our ego and connecting with our soul.

## How to Let Go of Judgment

There are many ways to let go of judgment, but here are some simple steps that you can follow:

1. Notice your judgments. Whenever you catch yourself judging someone else or yourself negatively, pause and observe your thoughts and feelings. Don't suppress or justify them, just notice them with curiosity.

2. Challenge your judgments. Ask yourself: Is this judgment true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? What evidence do I have to support it? What assumptions am I making? What biases am I influenced by? How does this judgment affect me and others?

3. Replace your judgments with facts. Try to describe the situation or person objectively, without using any evaluative words or labels. Focus on what you see, hear, or know, rather than what you think, feel, or believe.

4. Replace your judgments with compassion. Try to understand the situation or person from their perspective, without agreeing or disagreeing with them. Imagine what they might be feeling, thinking, or experiencing. Imagine what they might need or want.

5. Replace your judgments with gratitude. Try to appreciate the situation or person for what they are, without expecting or demanding anything from them. Recognize their strengths, talents, or contributions. Recognize their humanity and uniqueness.

## Examples of Letting Go of Judgment

Here are some examples of how you can apply these steps in different scenarios:

- Scenario 1: You are stuck in traffic and you see a driver who cuts in front of you without signaling.

- Judgment: "What a jerk! He has no respect for anyone! He thinks he owns the road!"

- Fact: "A driver just changed lanes in front of me without signaling."

- Compassion: "Maybe he is in a hurry or has an emergency. Maybe he didn't see me or forgot to signal."

- Gratitude: "I'm glad I was alert and avoided an accident. I'm glad I have a car and a destination."

- Scenario 2: You are at work and you hear your colleague talking about how she got a promotion.

- Judgment: "She doesn't deserve it! She is so lazy and incompetent! She must have cheated or kissed up to the boss!"

- Fact: "My colleague just announced that she got a promotion."

- Compassion: "Maybe she worked hard and did a good job. Maybe she has skills or qualities that I don't know about. Maybe she has challenges or struggles that I don't know about."

- Gratitude: "I'm happy for her and her success. I'm grateful for my job and my opportunities."

- Scenario 3: You are at home and you look at yourself in the mirror.

- Judgment: "I hate my body! I'm so fat and ugly! I'm such a loser!"

- Fact: "I have a body with certain features and measurements."

- Compassion: "Maybe my body is not perfect, but it is healthy and functional. Maybe my body is not what society expects, but it is unique and beautiful. Maybe my body is not who I am, but it is part of me."

- Gratitude: "I love my body and what it can do. I'm thankful for my body and how it supports me. I'm proud of my body and how it expresses me."

## Conclusion

Letting go of judgment is a powerful way to free yourself from the prison of negative emotions and thoughts, and to experience more peace and joy in your life. By noticing, challenging, replacing, and releasing your judgments, you can transform your relationship with yourself and others. You can also discover the freedom, beauty, and grace that await you beyond the walls of judgment.

Below are sources for your more readings: :

(1) On Making Judgments and Being Judgmental | Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/201305/making-judgments-and-being-judgmental.

(2) Judgment and Decision Making | Oxford Research Encyclopedia of Psychology. https://oxfordre.com/psychology/view/10.1093/acrefore/9780190236557.001.0001/acrefore-9780190236557-e-536.

(3) Judgment | psychology | Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/science/judgment-psychology.

(4) Judgment and decision making. - APA PsycNet. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-09423-013.

(5) Judgment | Psychology Wiki | Fandom. https://psychology.fandom.com/wiki/Judgment.

(6) Letting Go of Judgments : DBT. https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/mindfulness/letting-go/.

(7) Forgiveness Therapy (Worksheet) | Therapist Aid. https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/forgiveness-therapy.

(8) Letting Go of Judgment by Tara Brach | Mindfulness Exercises. https://mindfulnessexercises.com/downloads/letting-go-of-judgment/.

(9) 9 Ways Letting Go of Judgment Can Increase Empathy - Power of Positivity. https://www.powerofpositivity.com/judgment-letting-go/.

(10) Letting Go of Judgments - Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/blog/emotionally-sensitive/2012/07/letting-go-of-judgments.